Mildred and Agnes, two “seasoned” spinsters, were chatting over tea. Mildred:
“I’ve been asked out by that charming Mr. Simmons. I recall you had tea with him just the other day, and I wanted to get your thoughts before I respond.”
Agnes: “Oh, let me tell you. He arrived at my doorstep right on time at 7 P.M., looking dapper in his tweed jacket, and handed me the loveliest bouquet of daisies!
Then he escorted me downstairs, and what do you know; a horse-drawn carriage, complete with a top-hatted coachman, awaited us.
He whisked me away to a delightful dinner; the finest pea soup, freshly baked bread, a touch of caviar, and a spot of tea. Afterwards, we attended the most enchanting puppet show.
I must say, Mildred, it was so delightful I nearly fainted from joy! But when we returned to my place, he suddenly became a WILD BEAST.
Utterly berserk, he shredded my brand new shawl and serenaded me with opera, not once, not twice, but thrice!”
Mildred: “My stars! Are you suggesting I decline his invitation?”
Agnes: “Heavens, no! Just… perhaps wear something you wouldn’t mind getting dress to pieces.”